No way to sugarcoat this one...
In an age of swipe-and-meet dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, technology seems to have increased your chances of finding “the one” now more than ever. However, new evidence from the Brown University Center for Statistical Sciences has recently emerged that your odds might be stacked against you.
“In this day and age, the notion that every human has a romantic soulmate has really become viewed as sort of obsolete,” says Rick Schwartz, Department Head at Brown CSS. “However, there are a lot of people in the world. Taking such factors as location, era of living, language, and parallel universes into account, the chances that there’s at least one person who ‘does it for [you]’ are pretty high.”
According to data from population surveys, Schwartz reports that there are approximately 7.2 billion people in the world currently. “That number is fluctuating every day. A baby could be born that is your soulmate, or your soulmate could be dead in a ditch right now,” says Schwartz. A tough to swallow hypothesis, but a valid one.
Schwartz says that, when preparing their data, he and his team placed special weight upon the 2017 years that the earth has been in existence, the approximate 7,000 languages spoken by the human race, and the exponential permutations of parallel courses in our human experience. “We didn’t really make a formula because - well, that’s just obviously a lot. It was kind of unanimous.”
Based upon this approximation, the team at Brown University came to the conclusion that the likelihood of one’s soulmate having already passed or having not yet been born are extremely high. In implementing these results toward a real-world application, Schwartz encourages humans to adopt a more Nihilistic approach to their love lives.
“If you walk around kind of just knowing that there’s probably no one really out there for you, a lot of unnecessary pressure is lifted off of you,” he says. “Why shave your intimate areas, brush your teeth regularly, or worry about global warming if there’s really no point? Even if the world ends before your soulmate is born, it’s not like you’ll ever get to date them.”
Schwartz will be traveling to the Life Sciences Summit this November to present his research to the loneliest scientific community of all time.