You’re not fooling anyone, bud.
Well, it was a pretty solid attempt at being intellectual, but the reality is that you’re never going to use that audiobook streaming service that you’ve been paying $14.99 a month for. I mean, you signed up in May and it’s October now. The first month was free, but June, July, August, and September added up to almost $60 dollars, and that’s $60 dollars down the drain because you haven’t used the fuckin’ thing once.
It all started when you had that long drive and you wanted to read that Malcolm Gladwell book you had heard so much about without actually having to read it. “Just take advantage of the 'first month free - cancel anytime' policy,” you told yourself, “I’ll cancel it before the month is over.” Well, none of that was true, you idiot. You deleted the app, but when you did that you knew it wasn’t enough. It’s time to actually call the company and properly cancel the service.
In retrospect, you never should have signed up to begin with. You got three chapters in and then closed out of the app and opened Spotify to listen to the new Kendrick Lamar album, which if we’re being honest, was way better than that stupid book could have been.
So yeah, take the loss and take some action. Cancel that shit. You’re not cut out for books.