The world is crazy right now, but so is everything going on with you and Jason. Fortunately, you can merge the two by following these simple talking points:
Water shortage and threat of bacterial infection:
Ugh, it's like FEMA doesn't even care that people in Puerto Rico are so dehydrated, they've been forced to drink from creeks, streams, and even wells at hazardous waste sites on the island. That is super fucked up, and people have literally died from tainted water sources already—just like last week, when Jason drank the last La Croix, leaving you parched with only tap water to survive.
North Korea or Iran? Personally, you're craving Tahdig or a delicious kebab, but Jason is always craving kimchi, which they probably have in North Korea. You want to make it work amicably, but it's so hard when he threatens to just order in wings again.
Wildfires in California:
No matter how bad things get, there's no denying it's fiery; both in California and between you and Jason. First of all, there's not enough water (because he drank the last La Croix) to put out the flames, so its hotter than ever in Northern California and Anaheim, and also in the IKEA bed you share with Jason. Sometimes negligence just makes things hot!
These are very dangerous times, for both you and Jason, as well as the world in general.