Late Thursday evening, North Korea's department of entertainment said it is currently developing a gigantic crane game, over 100 times the size of a standard crane game.
Although this announcement was undoubtedly meant to instill fear across the globe, there is no denying the fact that this thing looks pretty sick. American military defense experts claim they have no idea what North Korea plans to fill the crane game with, but even if it’s something dangerous, it would still be at least somewhat cool to see.
“We really don’t know,” said Mike Pompeo, director of the Central Intelligence Agency, “It could be for anything; giant teddy bears, huge pieces of candy, ballistic missiles, smaller crane game machines… the list goes on. Obviously, if this thing is going to be holding missiles, we’ll need to evaluate the situation and take appropriate action. However, if it’s just holding something fun like giant candy, there’s no reason why we would have to take it out. Honestly, I’m sure most of us at the CIA would be at least a little interested in playing the thing ourselves.”
A spokesperson for the North Korean department of entertainment stated that their team of engineers is “Working very hard, examining mock-ups and blueprints for the world’s largest ever crane game.” Reports state that the machine will be finished by mid-September.
September can’t come soon enough. We really need to see this thing in action.