Dear Mr. Trump,
I know what you are going through.
In 2014, my horrible son, Mike Turzilli Jr. printed out a screenshot of my disgusting browser history and showed them to his mother. My browser history contained terrible things that I regret searching. Much of what was revealed in the documents obtained by my shithead son led to my messy divorce.
I won’t bore you with the details of the terrible stuff I was looking up, but I will say this much: It was a lot of gross fucking.
The point is, Mr Trump: YOU ARE NOT ALONE. On the off chance that you do not believe me, I have included a brief list of some of the other great men in our fantastic support group. Hopefully their stories will get through to you.
Ben Hohl- Who was shamed for his alcoholism by his teenage boy in front of the entire 2013 Noroton High School Graduating Class.
Steven Klein- Who was shamed by his young boy Caleb, after Caleb posted photos of Steven wearing a King Kong costume with an assless backside on an internet message board and asked members of the message board “What is wrong with my father?”
Bob Rosenstein- Who was shamed by his 32 year old son for insider trading.
These three men are just a small sample of a much larger group of men who know exactly how you feel right now. These feelings may seem alien, but trust me, other people have been through it, and we know for a FACT that you can get through it too.
If you are interested, please email me privately at email@example.com
Our next meeting is tomorrow, Wednesday, July 12th.
If you do decide to come, please bring cookies or maybe a 2 liter bottle of a diet soda. We do things potluck style.