Scientists are calling it “the meth of salad dressing”
Many kids are introduced to Russian dressing through the commonly available Thousand Island Dressing, a gateway dressing, and teens often miscalculate the potency, and end up way over their heads in sauce. Teens simply are not developmentally ready for Russian dressing, and it is a parent’s job to make sure they wait until a mature age to make the decision for themselves. You may be confident that your teen is a through-and-through Ranch guy or gal, but what your teen is doing behind closed cafeteria doors may shock you.
Although this substance is legal in the US and Canada, it has traditionally only been served in small doses to very, very old people on Reuben sandwiches. But the sickly orange sauce is back, this time as a way teens can get high, believing the substance to be less detectable by parents, teachers, and drug tests. However, in addition to bad breath and orange rings around the mouth, there are reliable signs your teen is or may be using Russian dressing:
Suddenly very into salad:
Nothing excites an overbearing parent like a kid who suddenly eats his (or HER--girls abuse this too, Moms!) vegetables, but don’t be so naive about where all that salad is going, or what it is a vehicle for. If you recently caught Junior eating nutmeg, licking toads in the woods, or snorting your Dr. Beal’s epsom salts, chances are the experimenting didn’t stop when the paint high wore off. If your kid seems interested in their greens, but never in front of you, it’s possible
All of your gross condiments are missing:
Moderate use can add flavor to life, but if you notice your teen suddenly interested in a variety of sauces or garnishes, make sure they aren’t mixing up mayo and ketchup with things like horseradish, pickles, and various spices. If you notice that half-full jar of pickle relish that came with your house is empty, be wary of the dangerous drug that may be right under your nose. You should be able to smell it though.
They’re vomiting, and it’s pink-orange:
If your child is ill, chances are, the cause is salad dressing. According to one dark web forum dedicated to experiment condiment use, teens distinguish themselves from French and Thousand Island dressing users with the distinctive orangish color of their sauce. While users claim additions like chili powder and paprika make the experience more exciting, they also can be abused. Keep your kids away from spices just to be sure.