This is three weeks in a row.
Surprising absolutely no one, third grader Isabella Muttarni showed up to practice without her shin guards. Unfortunately, Isabella will have to spend the entire practice watching from the sideline, as shin guards are a requirement for the town’s recreational soccer league.
Isabella’s coach offered the following statement on this devastating fuck-up: “You hate to see a player like Isabella be benched over such a careless mistake. When it happens once, we brush it off as a mistake, but when it happens three weeks in a row? I start to question the parenting. What is Isabella’s life at home like? I want answers.”
When told she couldn’t practice with the other girls, Isabella immediately broke out into tears, screaming “It’s no fair.”
Well guess what Isabella, the rules are the rules. Learn to be prepared.
At press time, Isabella was observed on the sidelines kicking around an empty bottle and twiddling her thumbs.
by Mike Turzilli // @miketurzilli